She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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