I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
