I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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