I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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