omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im holly from the hills drunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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