If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
