sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
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I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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