Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
