last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
