I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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