Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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