dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it hurts more in the daytime
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh god it's open bar.
How naked do you want me to be?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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