I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
