i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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