that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize