I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She said her name was "party"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
