i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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