Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
