just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
