nut hugger
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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