just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
