I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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