i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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