just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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