I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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