I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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