alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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