I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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