Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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