That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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