At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
