i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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