i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
