We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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