4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
