there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
