ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
