My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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