bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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