so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
