Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
