He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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