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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize