i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
