how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Everything about him screamed your future.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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