In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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