First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
