i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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