this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
