kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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