Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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