Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
