My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
