Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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