I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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