I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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