We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
