Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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