I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
