can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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