I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
