Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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