he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize