What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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