Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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