i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
