He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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